Engagement vs. Engorgement

The Expectant Father's Pop Quiz

By I. J. Schecter

Pages: 1 2 3

One of the more daunting challenges for a soon-to-be father is mastering a new vocabulary. Distinguishing engagement from engorgement, vernix from vertex and pudendum from puerperium might seem as easy as trying to say the right thing during labor. Here's a short quiz to help you out. There are only two possible answers for each item, so you're off to a good start.

Amniocentesis
a) A procedure to test for potential birth defects.
b) The condition of forgetting where one's pennies are.

Striae
a) Stretch marks, such as on the abdomen after birth.
b) What you'll get if you really blast your pecs and abs.

Montgomery's Tubercles
a) Small bumps around the areola.
b) A euphemism used by sportscasters. (As in, "Joe, it looks like he took that one right in the Montgomery's tubercles.")

Uterus
a) The organ in which the fetus develops.
b) The seventh planet in our Solar System.

Cesarean
a) Removal of the baby through an abdominal incision.
b) The practice of eating a salad before delivering the baby.

Amenorrhea
a) Cessation of a woman's menstrual cycle, as during pregnancy.
b) A prayer said to avert diarrhea.

Circumcision
a) A surgical procedure to cut the foreskin of the penis.
b) Talking in circles when your parents ask who the baby is named after.

Pages: 1 2 3