Dad's Birth Plan

Plan Ahead for a Less Stressful Birth

By Laura Paul

Joseph Perrotta of Wesley Chapel, Fla., remembers the birth of his daughter, Arianna Gia, now 3. He put on gloves and caught his daughter as the couple's doula and midwife stood in the background. Perrotta followed a birth plan so he could be a guardian of the couple's birth memories.

He prepared ahead of time for the birth of his second child by making relaxation and meditation tapes for Michelle. He brought massage instruments, a birthing ball and created a home atmosphere in the birthing suite. "We had a birth plan so that we were prepared," he says. "If I had any questions, the doulas and midwife were both very helpful. Nowadays, it's not where you drop your wife off at the front door, park the car and she calls you when the baby is there. Men can start playing a more active role in the birth plan."

In preparing for the big day, consider hiring a doula to help provide both you and your partner support. Birth doulas don't take the place of the father in the delivery room or at home, but can take the edge off so a father can follow through on the birth plan even when his partner is ready to throw in the towel.

According to Jennifer Nunn, of Owensboro, Ky., the president of DONA (Doulas of North America), doulas can also help relieve fathers of many of the responsibilities of having to remember everything. "For some dads that gets very stressful," she says. "The doula is there to help him remember how he can help her. It's very hard sometimes to watch the person you love in pain."

Perotta says the birth of his first child, Joseph, 4, who was delivered by Cesarean section without the support of a doula was a very different experience than his second child with a doula. He says he felt stressed, his mind often racing with questions.

Want to see more?

• Why Hire a Doula?
• How to Become a Certified Doula
• Postpartum Dad Series
• What Is Dad's Role? A Quiz for Fathers-to-be
• BirthPlan.com
• Start a diary!
• Talk about it!